In-N-Out proves uninteresting.

Yesterday I hit up In-N-Out Burgers.

I’ve heard so much about this place that we don’t have in Seattle, and I wanted to find out if it lives up to the hype.

It doesn’t.

This is an objective fact. I left all bias and subjective opinions at the door when I entered. You’re welcome to your own opinion, but it really doesn’t matter.

In-N-Out has a decent burger, no complaints about that, but it’s in an uncomfortable place between Dick’s and Five Guys.

If you’re craving a tasty plain cheeseburger, you wanna go to Dick’s. No contest.

If you want a more substantial burger from a chain, you’re better off with Five Guys. Better burger, better toppings.

If you can’t find either of those, the organic grass-fed beef burger from Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s is another good choice.

All three places have far better fries, too. In order of superiority and flavor: Dick’s followed by Five Guys. In-N-Out fries fell off the bottom of the list somewhere in the back kitchen.

On a positive note, In-N-Out had great customer service.

So there’s that.

And here’s my hot tip for extracting maximum enjoyment out of a Dick’s burger. (Please don’t share. If I ever have children, this will be my legacy. The secret family recipe.)

1. Order two cheeseburgers.
2. Remove the bottom bun from each burger and discard.
3. Slap the whole thing together so the two top buns sandwich the delicious patties.

This is the way cheeseburgers were meant to be enjoyed. The perfect ratio of bun to burger, and none of the nasty bun stumps.

You’re welcome.

-D